Posts tagged ‘zombie apocalypse’

May 31, 2018

Global catastrophe imminent as someone signs something

by unpseudable
zombies

Inevitable

The zombie apocalypse clock moved yet another minute closer to midnight this week as the US ‘president’ signed a bill to allow terminally ill patients to try experimental drugs.

The move by the bloated imbecile brought hope to the terminally ill and doomsday preppers alike.

“Having been brought up on a steady diet of disaster movies I know just what this means,” responded survivalist and film critic Larry Gorman. “I mean, haven’t they even seen I Am Legend? It had Will Smith in it for fuck’s sake. This is going to be awesome.”

Critic of the move, Prudence Sober, said

read more »

Advertisements
April 27, 2012

“Please please me like you used to” say Egyptian female corpses

by philapilus
Mummy of Queen Ahmose Inhapy

Phwooaarrrrr! Be honest; who wouldn't hit that?!

Egypt may be on the cusp of passing a revolutionary piece of legislation, dealing with a thorny area of morality no government has yet dared contemplate.

As the twentieth and twenty-first centuries have brought the world ever closer to full-scale zombie apocalypse, all kinds of new codes of ethics have had to be considered: when is it ok to shoot a toddler in the face? How many times do you have to repeat your father’s name with tears in your eyes before you decapitate him with your ornamental coal-shovel? When you flee the city, is it ever ok to leave behind your annoying son, the one you pretend to love as much as your daughter, (but who really just pisses you off, and drove you to have a vasectomy)?

But so far only Egypt has tried to develop a humane, enlightened policy to consider how Z-day will affect the issue of that strongest demonstration of love and affection; sex.

read more »