Posts tagged ‘who should I vote for’

May 7, 2015

“It would be different if we got a free pen out of it” say non-voters

by philapilus

“Now THAT would be worth all those Suffer-jets riding horses for”

Britain’s legions of non-voters said today that the main reason they couldn’t be arsed to go to the polling station was because of the shit pencil stubs that you can’t even take away with you.

Non-box crosser Wendy Nailinthehead said “Why would I go all the way up the road to the local church hall and try to

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May 6, 2015

Cameron unveils final election slogan: “Miliband’s a cunt who can’t eat bacon properly”

by philapilus

As the Sun so brilliantly puts it; a cause celebre for our times

As party leaders tear around the country hunting last-minute votes, David Cameron has revealed a final campaign slogan; Miliband is a cunt who can’t even eat a bacon sandwich properly. Vote for me.’

With polls opening in less than 24 hours, Mr Cameron said it was time for voters to focus on the coalition’s record “In particular our most major success; not being photographed making a mess of eating a bacon sandwich.”

The Prime Minister said “I have told Red ‘gay’ Ed, time and again, that if he’d attended Eton he would know sandwich etiquette. He did not, and he does not. Tomorrow is about

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