Posts tagged ‘Vladimir Putin twat’

October 22, 2014

“And your plan is…?” Russia asks Sweden

by philapilus

‘Ah, um, ohh…yeah that’s…that’s quite…Jesus it’s a biggy…Um, you know what? Actually, you can sail anywhere you like! Who cares about stuffy old nonsense like territorial waters? Not us!’ said Sweden

As the Swedish armed forces continue to search for what they claim is a Russian submarine in the waters near Stockholm, Russia has asked Sweden exactly what it is planning to do about it anyway.

Russian Foreign Minister, Ivan Everhaditov, said “Let’s say, hypothetically, that one of our subs is in your territorial waters.

“In fact, let’s say, hypothetically, it surfaces, and the crew comes out on deck, pull down their pants and

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June 6, 2013

Seagal to be large, puffy face of Russian arms manufacturer

by philapilus
Steven Seagal

Steven performing with his band, ‘Who Ate All The Pies?’

The Hollywood actor Steven Seagal has agreed to become the business envoy of a Russian arms firm, it was confirmed this morning.

Seagal, the star of a large number of low-budget martial arts films, which have been watched by dozens – if not scores – of erudite and discerning fans, was apparently delighted to be approached by Kovrov weapons.

Seagal has gradually become more associated with firearms, and less with athletic karate moves, as his career developed, due to a slight weight-gain problem. His scenes now tend to

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