Posts tagged ‘UK referendum’

June 27, 2016

Britain only allowed to vote for TV talent shows in future

by philapilus

You can vote for this, but NOTHING ELSE

Britain has been told that it should restrict itself to voting on completely pointless shit like Saturday night talent shows, and must now refrain from ever voting on anything that matters.

Experts stressed the importance of Britain never going near a ballot box again, after the country effectively voted in favour of jumping off a very tall cliff to see how much it hurt when you hit the ground.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of

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June 24, 2016

Cameron quits to be first in job queue

by philapilus

“I don’t suppose you have any positions open? I am looking for something as far away from Britain as possible.”

David Cameron has resigned today as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, in order to be first in the job queue.

Following Britain’s historic and courageous decision to cut itself off from Europe and drown in the North Sea, Mr Cameron said “I just want to say that although this referendum malarkey has clearly been a huge mistake in hindsight, I am confident and optimistic that if I get to the job centre quickly, I should be able to get my CV in before the rest of you.

“Look, it’s really not that bad. I mean, I’ve done what no

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March 30, 2016

Shake it all about campaigners join Brexit row

by philapilus

Come on, everybody: ‘That’s what it’s all about…’

As the UK referendum on Eu membership draws closer, the In and Out campaigns have been blindsided by the unexpected development of a new ‘Shake it all about’ faction.

Though it has joined the battle over Britain’s future somewhat late in the day, pundits agree that the Shake it all about campaign has already made a powerful impression on the public imagination.

SIAB advocate Geoff Shovel explained the resonance of the movement.”This morning former

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