Posts tagged ‘Swansea’

January 25, 2013

Thousands line up to kick Swansea City ball-boy

by philapilus
A football (or soccer ball) icon.

See? he does look an awful lot like a ball.

A ball-boy has seen his Twitter followers rise to 80,000 overnight, after being kicked by Chelsea midfielder Eden Hazard during a match held on Wednesday.

The vast majority of those now following him have asked if they can come and give him a kicking too, with thousands more ringing his home or gathering in the street outside with the same intention.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, footballologist at the Slough Institute of Sport and Writing Things Down, said “What we have here is a very interesting phenomenon. Essentially, most of the early recruits to his Twitter feed yesterday were Chelsea supporters, eager to punish the ball-boy for time-wasting.

“But increasingly, more and more of his new followers have been football fans who were just generally angry, wanted someone to hurt, and had noticed on TV that

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June 29, 2012

“I will be 11% more useful to Britain” vows Charles

by philapilus
English: Charles, Prince of Wales outside the ...

The UK economy could not possibly survive without the Royals who so expertly spend taxpayers money on incredibly important things for themselves. All of which is almost certainly vital for Britain’s future, and not at all a foppishly fuckwitted financial black hole. Sadly ordinary folk don’t understand.

Clarence House issued a press statement this afternoon, confirming reports that the Prince of Wales has cost the taxpayer an extra 11% this year.

Crucially though, the statement includes a formal promise fom the heir to the throne that he is going to be at least 11% more useful to the national economy to balance it out.

“The Prince has long been planning to increase his GDP.” said a spokesman, “And having learned this morning that – much to his great distress – his reliance on the taxpayer increased this year, he has decided to implement measures to make himself more financially viable.

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