Posts tagged ‘South Africa’

December 31, 2013

2013 in headlines

by philapilus
English: Morgan Freeman at the Cannes film fes...

‘The greatest statesman of our era’

Once again TMB brings you a round-up of the major news stories from the last twelve months, which is our way of helping you impress everyone at the New Year’s Eve party with your amazing memory (and not at all an easy way of churning out an article without actually doing any

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December 12, 2013

Mandela memorial event signer had acid flashback

by philapilus
English: Nelson Mandela Statue Nelson Mandela ...

“In my mind’s eye Madiba turned into this enormous beast and started attacking the symbols of Western Imperialism. That’s when I knew it had ‘gone bad’.”

The interpreter responsible for translating speeches into sign language during the memorial service for Nelson Mandela has blamed his completely nonsensical interpretation on “a crazy acid flashback”.

In an interview posted on the Grateful Dead’s website, www.dead.net, Mr Dyantyi said “It was, like, craaaaazy daddio! Lights and stars and rainbows everywhere, bursting into fireworks of spiritual evanescence. And beautiful pink badgers started appearing all over the stadium.

“Then, quite suddenly, a cohort of zebras marched past, telling me to wave my hands to the groovy

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December 12, 2013

Breaking News: Mandela “still dead”

by philapilus
English: Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, Gaute...

Pretty much still like this, only more horizontal, and less smiley

Last updated 43 seconds ago

The world’s media have again confirmed that Nelson Mandela is still dead, and shows little to no sign of improvement.

After the news broke three minutes ago that Mandela remained a corpse, mourners continued to file past the open casket in their thousands, to pay their final respects, say goodbye to a beloved leader, and continuously check his pulse.

Mandela – or ‘Madiba’ as everyone is now pretending they knew he was also called – is linked to

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December 6, 2013

Obituary: Nelson Mandela, by George Galloway

by philapilus
George Galloway

‘It’s not all about me, you know’

English: Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, Gaute...

RIP

Like everyone else I was shocked and saddened this morning to learn of the death of Nelson Mandela, a man whom I can honestly say I admired almost as much as he admired me.

The passing of a titan from the world’s stage leaves us all the poorer, especially those of us titans remaining, and I want to take a moment to reflect on Mandela’s amazing life and incredible achievements.

“A man whose entire being was devoted to struggling for fairness and equality, a man who suffered for others, and bore his suffering in silence, a man who has fought and lived – whilst being willing to die – for an ideal” was how Nelson described me, in what

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