Posts tagged ‘Ronald Reagan’

July 17, 2017

Martin Landau surprisingly reanimated

by unpseudable

After being saddened by his death, the world of Hollywood was this week stunned by renowned actor Martin Landau apparently coming back to life.

Landau

Landau earlier today

“It obviously wasn’t the uncommon reanimation that shocked me,” said recently deceased film critic Barry Norman. “I mean, I’ve seen that in literally thousands of films. No, it was more the irony that it was Landau who rose from the grave rather than legendary zombie movie director George Romero.”

Romero, who also sadly passed away this week, stubbornly refused to come back to life. “I just don’t see the point,” he is reported to have said,

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April 8, 2013

Thatcher “Dangerously insane” according to US intelligence reports

by philapilus
Margaret Thatcher with Ronald Reagan

For years she carried that cardboard cut-out wherever she went

US intelligence and diplomatic reports published by Wikileaks have shown that the Americans were aware Margaret Thatcher was “Mentally unstable and profoundly dangerous” as early as the mid-1970s.

Amongst the 1.7 million documents made available in a newly-searchable format online, are some 25,000 increasingly desperate warnings to the US government from the embassy in Britain.

“The new leader of the Conservative party is certainly psychotic, and if she became prime minister would represent a serious threat to world peace.” reads one early report from June 1975.

Another cable, from December the

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May 22, 2012

Horror at Reagan Reanimation Threat

by philapilus
Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan greet Prime Min...

Notice how there are never any mirrors anywhere near these people?

Vampire-hunters, demon-slayers and other monster-terminating professionals united to express their terror yesterday, at the news that former Soul-scurge of the West, Ronald Reagan, could feasibly be brought back to life.

The appearance of a vial of the Unholy One’s dried blood on PFC Auctions website caused alarm, general panic, and bulk-buying of basic supplies in shops across the United States.

The rest of the world began re-opening old caches of nuclear weapons, and Heads of State installed ‘Retaliatory Strike’ apps on their smartphones.

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January 26, 2012

Genius Gingrich continues blazing assault on Republicans

by philapilus
Steven Seagal at the Pollstar Awards in Februa...

Would YOU believe he has four PhDs? Exactly

Brilliant lampoon-artist Newt Gingrich appears to have one-upped Mitt Romney in the campaign to destroy the Republican party from within.

Romney’s subtle tactics have been a source of dry amusement to those looking forward to seeing the Grand Old Party decline past the point of no return. But so far he has limited himself to such tried and tested stereotypes as ‘Superrich-man-who-pays-fuck-all-tax’, and ‘man-who-claims-he-can-create-jobs-but-then-it-transpires-he-fired-a-shitload-of-people-in-the-past’.

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