Posts tagged ‘Robert Carlyle’

June 17, 2012

Danny Boyle revamps Olympics ceremony plan

by philapilus - Comic-Con 2009 - Stargat...

Unlike everybody else involved, this man would still be able to find work next year…

Since the unveiling last week of Danny Boyle’s bucolic vision for the 2012 opening ceremony, the public’s initial surprise and befuddled confusion has turned to nausea and increasingly irate revulsion, with the result that Boyle has been asked to drastically revise his ideas.

The director’s original plan for a sickeningly quirky stage-set of pastoral Britain showcased a green and pleasant microcosm of the four nations.

The sights of a county cricket match, children doing maypole dances, and buxom lasses pulling warm pints of bitter in thatched-roof pubs, were carefully balanced with scenes of casual racial violence, failed tennis players sobbing into their clenched fists, and large queues of grumbling misanthropic bastards standing indefinitely at bus stops, waiting for buses that never come.

The finale was to be a vast, waddling parade of overweight pregnant teens, wearing jewellery stolen from Argos in the riots.

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