Posts tagged ‘Richard Gere’

March 2, 2012

Jack Nicholson is Brazilian Criminal Revelation

by unpseudable

Jack Nicholson: Brazilian con artist

Shocking news has emerged this week that multiple Academy Award winner, and star of such classics as Chinatown and The Shining, is in fact 41 year old fraudster Ricardo Sergio Freire de Barros.

The actor was finally apprehended this week in Recife after a massive police operation to stop the apparently aging movie star.

Numerous agencies cooperated in an international investigation which concluded in a not at all clichéd standoff situation. Witnesses report that the arrest took place amongst a rain of bullets, and cries from ‘Nicholson’ that “you’ll never take me alive!” before they finally took him alive. He was subsequently charged on numerous counts of fraudulent activity and for appearing in film with Adam Sandler.

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February 29, 2012

More experts enter Falklands fray

by philapilus

Following the intervention of actor-turned International Relations expert Sean Penn, celebrity and self-styled ‘Better-than-Beethoven’ musician, Roger Waters, has also weighed in with his fantastically well-informed views on the Falklands debate.

The ex-bassist for Pink Floyd, a band famously typified by drug-use, insanity and self-absorption, Roger Waters is clearly extremely well-qualified to comment on issues of sovereignty and post-colonial relations and peace-keeping.

Not only did he write ‘The Wall’ (you know, Floyd’s fourteen hour long whinge, the lyrics of which make ‘Ummagumma’ sound like fucking Shakespeare), but reportedly  he also nearly managed to destroy the band with his acrimonious and egomaniacal power-mongering.

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