Posts tagged ‘Prince Harry of Wales’

August 23, 2012

Prince’s arse unveiled as new stamp

by philapilus
English: Prince Harry at a 2009 charity match ...

This picture shows Harry’s hairy arse superimposed on top of a polo shirt, to make it funny to Daily Mail readers.

The unending diarrhoeic stream of shit written about the posh idiot who was photographed with his clothes off*, has given rise to a media feeding frenzy, which hacks and Royal Correspondents alike are calling “A Perfect Arse-storm”.

The third in line to the British throne (you know, the one not genetically related to Charles in any way) caused controversy – again – when pictures of him cavorting without his clothes on in LA surfaced earlier this week.

And then, within about five minutes, were seen by everyone in the world.

The Royal Family icily confirmed that the pictures were indeed of the prince, and called upon the British press to respect their privacy and not to publish the images.

The entire media industry responded by laughing themselves so silly they pissed in their pants, and then sent back a joint memo saying “That was a cracker! Tell it again?”

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June 4, 2012

Joey Barton “royally beaten-up”

by philapilus
English: Prince Harry at a 2009 charity match ...

Overpaid thug sportsman in fight

It has emerged that the two men who last night assaulted profoundly unpleasant professional ball-thug, Joey Barton, were none other than Princes William and Harry.

Barton had gone out to what passes for a nightclub in Liverpool, and became embroiled in an altercation in the early hours of the morning. Officers were called to the scene, and it was initially reported that Barton’s two assailants had been arrested.

But Merseyside Police this morning confirmed rumors that the men were in fact spirited away in a black limousine with full armed escort. Apparently whilst laughing and making wanker gestures out of the window.

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March 12, 2012

“I was completely off my tits” says Prince

by philapilus
Cocaine powder

"This is rally good shit, homies"

An aide to Prince Harry has issued an important correction to all the newspaper stories which reported that the Prince had been ‘choked up’ on his recent Commonwealth tour.

Apparently Harry had actually admitted to being ‘coked up’, but due to an over-reliance on Microsoft spellcheck – stemming from piss-poor education – virtually every Fleet Street Royal Correspondent had managed to misrepresent the Prince.

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