Posts tagged ‘Plumstead’

November 11, 2013

John Lewis forced to admit it came up with bear and hare advert all by itself

by philapilus
Ursus arctos middendorffi /kodiak bear/ Kodiakbär

Go on, just try patting him on the head and saying ‘Happy Christmas’…

After accusations of plagiarism were roundly dismissed, John Lewis was forced to accept responsibility for the appallingly twee, sentimental dross it is using to try and convince people to give them money this Christmas.

The retailer had attempted to dissociate itself from the advert, by planting rumours that it was a rip-off of

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February 20, 2013

“If I told you the truth you’d crap yourself” warns Clegg

by philapilus
English: Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister of ...

He’s fine, right up to the point when he opens his mouth

Deputy prime minister Nick Clegg caused concern this morning, when he refused to give exact figures for how many Romanians and Bulgarians are expected to immigrate when restrictions are lifted next year.

Speaking on his LBC Radio slot, Clegg struck terror into the heart of middle England when he declined to reveal the government’s estimate, saying “Firstly it’s more of a ‘guesstimate’ anyway (which admittedly makes a mockery of the whole thing), but to be honest, I’m worried that if I told you the figure you would probably just have a massive seizure.

“I imagine that

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April 5, 2012

Amazon “devastated” they were unable to pay UK corporation tax

by philapilus
Amazon warehouse in Glenrothes, Fife; source M...

Owing to Einstein's Regrettable and Absolutely Immutable Laws of Relative Taxation, warehouses like this one appearing to be in Scotland, are actually sadly in Luxemburg, on some complex metaphysical level.

Senior Management at Amazon, the gigantic market-saturating purveyor of anything and everything, was apparently devastated to learn that they hadn’t paid corporation tax in the UK.

A red-eyed spokesperson said at a press conference this morning “To be honest, I don’t know what to say. We are just…just devastated.”

“Devastated”:

After admitting that the company was devastated, the spokesperson left, looking very devastated and saying with a sob “I am sorry, I can’t go on; I am devastated.”

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