Posts tagged ‘pirates of the caribbean’

May 14, 2015

“DEATH TO DEPP’S DOGS!!” screams Australian Minister

by philapilus

Just look at those eyes – it can’t wait to sink its fangs into a kangaroo’s jugular

Barnaby Joyce, Australian agricultural minister, is on a mission to personally murder the dogs belonging to Johnny Depp, according to the British media.

Depp took his dogs on his private jet when he flew in to Australia last month, to film ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 37: Now it’s just getting stupid’. Crucially however, he neglected to declare he was bringing in the animals.

Joyce said “That bloody Depp’s got to pay! I’m going to string those dogs up by the bollocks, and slit ’em down the front with a blunt knife, then chuck the entrails on a barby and

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June 13, 2012

Clegg “finally to show backbone” by standing up to Cameron in pointless, ineffectual way

by philapilus
English: Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Dem...

Receiving a bit of career advice; Clegg said this informal chat helped him immensely

The deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, will today do everything he can to confirm speculations about how utterly impotent he is within the ironically named “coalition” government.

As the fate of  Jeremy Cunt completely fails to hang in the balance, Clegg has ordered the Liberal democrats to abstain from a pointless vote about whether or not the Hulture Secretary will be referred to the adviser on the ministerial code.

The ministerial code, a huge leather-bound manuscript, kept locked away and defended with terminal intensity by Keith Richards wearing a pirate hat, is a laughable list of things which ministers should try not to get caught doing.

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