Posts tagged ‘People’

June 18, 2013

Saatchi ‘attacker’: “I was only cuddling him”

by philapilus
English: blood, human, splatter, drops

Charles must have spilt some wine on the tablecloth. Actually it’s really quite beauiful, maybe it could go in his collection.

A man who was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting art collector Charles Saatchi has been released today, after explaining that he was only, in fact, giving him a cuddle.

The reclusive multi-millionaire was sitting at a restaurant enjoying a late dinner, said witnesses, when a man in a dark suit ran across the road and appeared to grab him by the throat.

He then seemed to repeatedly punch Saatchi’s face whilst throttling him, before kicking him in

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June 25, 2012

English men are inexplicably down in the dumps

by philapilus
English: Plastic pizza saver - used to keep th...

If your job involves the use of these, then for God’s sake don’t go in today; barricade your doors, and stay under the covers till at least mid-week.

This morning women all over the country reported noticing that men seemed really quite miserable, and that most had a misanthropic, murderous scowl on their faces that was worse than the usual one.

Despite the fact that the sun was shining over most of the country, the male mood was a worrying seventy per cent lower than usual, according to figures which are impossible to check.

An astonishingly large proportion of the bit of the country’s population whose genitals dangle, turned up for work this morning wearing badges that read ‘If you talk to me, I will kill you’.

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March 22, 2012

Comments:

by philapilus
New Zealand Sea Lion

this probably isn't the real Gemini

Since posting guest writer Carol Sarler’s brilliant piece, we have been inundated with your witty, thoughtful posts responding to her words of wisdom. Here are just a few of the ones that were literate enough to be understandable:

Well done to all of you, and keep ’em coming!

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