Posts tagged ‘North Korea human rights’

March 27, 2014

North Korean revolution begins

by philapilus
Kim Jong-Un clapping

The must-have hairstyle for that ‘I’m a batshit mad perverted donkey-fucker’ look, that’s so ‘in’ this season

Preliminary reports suggest that bloody revolution is taking place in North Korea, after attempts to make Kim Jong-Un’s hairstyle mandatory for all men resulted in “all the barbers going completely fucking mental”.

The revolt began on Tuesday, after officials proclaimed the compulsory hairstyle via state media. Within an hour of the announcement, incensed hairdressers had downed their scissors, then, having literally nothing else, picked them up again, and stormed government buildings.

A cohort of angry barbers decimated the people’s army in a vicious battle for Pyongyang, and Kim Jong-un was forced to retreat to the countryside to regroup his

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February 18, 2014

‘North Korea possibly not as brilliant as we thought’ says UN

by philapilus

‘Well Duuuuuuuuuuh…’

A United Nations report has made the shocking claim that North Korea might not be the beautiful, happy, brilliant place depicted on the brochure Kim Jong-un sends periodically to the UN’s Geneva office.

The report comes after a year-long investigation, and details numerous, previously unguessed-at, crimes against humanity and violations of human rights.

Colin Bruce, UN Investigator, said “Oh my days, this is just awful. When they gave me the assignment I was like; ‘Investigate North Korea? Fantastic, I’ll get my bucket and spade! Holiday-time!’

“But it’s

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