Posts tagged ‘Nigella Lawson’

December 31, 2013

2013 in headlines

by philapilus
English: Morgan Freeman at the Cannes film fes...

‘The greatest statesman of our era’

Once again TMB brings you a round-up of the major news stories from the last twelve months, which is our way of helping you impress everyone at the New Year’s Eve party with your amazing memory (and not at all an easy way of churning out an article without actually doing any

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November 27, 2013

Nigella’s ‘accidental’ illegal ingredient

by philapilus
Cocaine powder

“Doesn’t that look like salt to you?”

It has emerged that TV chef Nigella Lawson has been ‘accidentally’ adding cocaine to her cooking for several years.

“It was completely unintentional,” insisted an embarrassed Nigella, “I was going to add some baking soda to a bread recipe, and realised I ‘d run out.

“The cornershop didn’t have any, and Tesco was shut.

“Then this guy approached me on the street and asked was I looking for something. Well, he

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June 18, 2013

Saatchi ‘attacker’: “I was only cuddling him”

by philapilus
English: blood, human, splatter, drops

Charles must have spilt some wine on the tablecloth. Actually it’s really quite beauiful, maybe it could go in his collection.

A man who was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting art collector Charles Saatchi has been released today, after explaining that he was only, in fact, giving him a cuddle.

The reclusive multi-millionaire was sitting at a restaurant enjoying a late dinner, said witnesses, when a man in a dark suit ran across the road and appeared to grab him by the throat.

He then seemed to repeatedly punch Saatchi’s face whilst throttling him, before kicking him in

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