Posts tagged ‘London Underground’

April 25, 2014

Bob Crow memorial strike to go ahead

by philapilus

Yeah, your slightly longer journey to work really is the greatest injustice the world has ever known

The RMT union confirmed this morning that its members will go ahead with next week’s strike in honour of Bob Crow.

Spokesperson Percy Spoke said today “Bob was brilliant, we miss him. So next week we are planning to celebrate his life, in a way we know he would have enjoyed; by seriously pissing off millions of people and bringing London to its knees.

“I like to think old Bob will be looking down at us and smiling. Or possibly looking up and smiling. Well, wherever he

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February 5, 2014

Joyful London declares ‘Bob Crow for Mayor’

by philapilus

‘You utter bastards’

Many Londoners were ecstatic this morning in their support for Bob Crow and striking Underground workers, and called for immediate elections, to install the rotund trade unionist as mayor.

Striking London Underground employee, Cob Brow, said “Bob is the best of us. He nestles us in his rolls of flesh like a mother hen taking chicks under her wing.

“If it wasn’t for this brilliant and meaningful strike, which will achieve all our goals in one fell swoop, we would be hurled into the indifferent maw of the BoJo monster.”

But not everyone shared this

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November 21, 2013

London Underground workers to be redesignated as gladiators

by philapilus
A deserted Temple Station platform - rush hour...

On the Tube no one can hear you scream

TfL has unveiled exciting new cuts to London Underground, which will involve closing every single ticket office, bringing staff out from the relative safety of their glass-fronted booths, and then pitting them against the aggressive, murderous hordes of London commuters.

At a press conference this morning, Mayor of London Boris Johnson said “Actually I… I… I think that this is going to be hugely popular, and um, you know very… very um, entertaining.

“It’s going to, you know, save us several million quid, and make for some great Youtube footage of our chaps and chapesses being, well, set upon I suppose.”

The revamp will also see lines run 24 hours a day at

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