Posts tagged ‘Large Hadron Collider’

April 30, 2016

Weasels in bid to stop humanity destroying universe

by philapilus
File:Mustela nivalis -British Wildlife Centre-4.jpg

Always on the alert

Weasels have sabotaged the Large Hadron Collider in Cern in a desperate attempt to stop scientists from ending all existence.

The news emerged after the discovery that one of the noble creatures bravely sacrificed himself chewing through some live wires.

Weasel Doug Shovel said “You humans are always meddling in things you don’t understand, but your fascination for

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February 14, 2013

Large Hadron Collider broken after series of pranks

by philapilus
Part of the LHC at CERN, an experimental endeavor

“Mostly we used it as a ferris wheel.” admitted one shame-faced post-doc lab assistant.

The Large Hadron Collider at Cern in Switzerland has  had to close for an extensive period of repairs and refurbishment, having been mucked about with for four years by mischievous scientists.

The £3.6 billion particle accelerator stopped working properly only weeks after being switched on in 2008, when two research students used it to test their best conkers, firing them around the collider at sub-light speed towards one another.

Initially scientists attempted to suppress the story with

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