Posts tagged ‘labour leadership’

August 25, 2015

Labour to “weed out” anyone voting for Corbyn, says Harman

by philapilus

“The world will end” claims Harman

Harriet Harman has promised that the upcoming Labour leadership ballot will be “scrupulously fair and impartial” to which end “party activists are working round the clock to exclude anyone thinking of voting for one candidate in particular – I don’t think I have to name him, but it’s not Andy.”

The acting Labour leader warned that “thousands of cheats are attempting to infiltrate the party, purely to exploit the voting system in order to democratically vote for a candidate who some of us don’t want them to vote for.”

Many senior Labour officials are

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August 11, 2015

“Corbyn isn’t much like Blair” warns Campbell

by philapilus

“He’s got huge tusks that come out of his jaw about this far, and if we make him leader then he’ll use them to impale babies”

Alastair Campbell has warned Labour members against voting for Jeremy Corbyn, explaining that Corbyn is not Tony Blair, and furthermore “doesn’t even look like him”.

Campbell who was the communications director and enforcer for the Blair government, has told party members that the left-wing leadership candidate is “dangerously unBlair; he doesn’t appear to be remotely interested in Blairism, doesn’t sound or taste like Blair, and doesn’t even remind me of that useless tub of fox excrement Gordon Brown.”

Jeremy Corbyn is leading the

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June 18, 2015

Labour candidates promise paperclips and Fanta

by philapilus

The 1926 General Strike was Corbyn’s first venture into the world of politics

The candidates for the Labour leadership engaged in a TV debate in Nuneaton yesterday, unleashing a fierce battle of ideological one-upmanship.

Although pundits had predicted little in the way of substance or policy, the four hopefuls exceeded expectations and laid out their candidacies with firm strategy.

Liz Kendall offered “A Britain that has many, many more paperclips available, not just in our offices but in our schools, our townhalls, and even

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April 1, 2012

Ed Miliband revealed as April Fool

by articulatedsheep

The Labour Party has revealed that Ed Miliband’s leadership has been a gigantic, highly complex April Fool joke.

Revealing the amusing subterfuge, a bashful Miliband appeared at a press conference flanked by his brother, who actually won the leadership contest in 2010 but who agreed to stand aside for a couple of years “for a bit of a laugh”.

“It’s been a riot,” said a relieved-looking Ed, “but I think the joke’s gone far enough now. April Fool!”

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