Posts tagged ‘Jim Davidson’

January 30, 2014

Jim Davidson voted celebrity ‘people most want to disappear’

by philapilus

‘It’s how we got rid of the Chuckle Brothers’

The public unanimously agreed yesterday that Jim Davidson was the celebrity who they most wanted “to fuck off and never come back”.

Davidson was announced as the ‘winner’ of Celebrity Big Brother; the nation’s official way of trying to keep someone segregated from the rest of the country, and shut up in a house for as long as possible.

Media Analyst Rick Head said

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July 22, 2013

News Briefs: Humour broken, as everyone makes exact same joke

by philapilus
I hadn't met this pony before and as I put the...

It’s not funny you stupid ass.

This morning humour broke down after the whole country made the same joke simultaneously.

As news emerged that a woman had been fined for taking her horse into McDonald’s, everyone you know said “They don’t allow horses in McDonald’s? What about the burgers then? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

“HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!

“HAHA!”

Humour crunched to a halt and several bits fell off, but

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January 15, 2013

Germany’s sense of humour finally found

by philapilus
Adolf Hitler in Yugoslavia.

He saw himself as Germany’s answer to Charlie Chaplin

After years of suffering the indignity of being internationally mocked for their inability to be funny, po-faced Germans have today discovered where their sense of humour has been hiding all this time.

Scientists claim that the 26-year old student who mooned a group of Hell’s Angels, threw a puppy at them, and then escaped incredibly slowly on a bulldozer, was clearly imbued with the entire condensed funniness of the last seven generations of the Germanic peoples.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough Institute for Humour and Dog-hurling, said “Ordinarily, a nation’s funniness is spread more or less evenly across a population, and throughout the generations.

“What has happened here is that all

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