Posts tagged ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’

September 7, 2017

Shock as stupid country realises Rees-Mogg is a reactionary tw*t

by philapilus
File:Hon Jacob Rees-Mogg MP.jpg

Rees-Mogg sat very still for half an hour before being informed that photography has moved past glass plate technology

Mind-numbingly stupid Britons were overwhelmed with shock and surprise yesterday to learn that tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg holds some reactionary views.

Rees-Mogg, who pants-wetting young tory fanboys hope to be the next leader of the Conservative party appeared on ITV’s dreadful This Morning programme and said some

read more »

Advertisements
March 16, 2014

Rees-Mogg: my golliwog taught me everything I know

by philapilus

by Jacob Rees-Mogg, MP

Following my comment piece in the Daily Telegraph, about how my nanny made me the man of the people that I am today, I wanted to say something of how my vision of the wider world was informed by Blacky, my dear old golliwog.

Blacky, or Woggy-wog as I first denoted him in my pre-bipedal, crawling years, was a present from an aunt, a marvellously dogmatic, stern-faced elderly lady, who campaigned tirelessly for British marmalade to replace ale, as the working class’s relaxant of choice.

Until she placed Woggy-wog into my youthful arms, I had not yet seen skin that was not reassuringly white, or at least the sausage-pink of the tradesmen, who oftentimes came to the scullery door.

Of course, my first response was to

read more »

September 4, 2013

“Porn? Never heard of it!” say MPs

by philapilus
English: Rt Hon David Cameron MP speaking at t...

“…and then I saw this clip where a dominatrix pushes this man’s head into her lap and makes him – well, you really have to see it!”

David Cameron has strenuously rejected data resulting fromĀ an FOI request, which revealed that there were more than 300,000 attempts to access pornography in the Houses of Parliament in the last 12 months.

Cameron said “I want to express outrage at the ridiculous notion that we, as your elected representatives, spend any of our time whatsoever looking at rude videos online.

“Most MPs don’t even know what porn is! I mean, I only know because, well, you have to if you’re

read more »