Posts tagged ‘Italy win’

June 16, 2014

Brazil 2014 shock: England supporter thinks Italy shouldn’t have won

by philapilus

“And, right, did you notice how every time the Italians kicked the ball it went a bit further and was more accurate? Remote-controlled, mate. Bloody cheats.”

An England fan has caused a stir this morning, after claiming that Italy definitely didn’t deserve victory on Saturday, adding “We were totally robbed. I blame the ref, and the cheating Eyeties!”

Italy beat England 2:1 by virtue of being a better team, playing better, and scoring more goals.

But the England fan disputed the loss, and monologued for about half an hour on all the things Roy Hodgson should have done differently, including crushing Wayne Rooney’s thick skull with a sledgehammer instead of letting him play.

Footballologist, Tim Buttox, said “It is

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June 25, 2012

English men are inexplicably down in the dumps

by philapilus
English: Plastic pizza saver - used to keep th...

If your job involves the use of these, then for God’s sake don’t go in today; barricade your doors, and stay under the covers till at least mid-week.

This morning women all over the country reported noticing that men seemed really quite miserable, and that most had a misanthropic, murderous scowl on their faces that was worse than the usual one.

Despite the fact that the sun was shining over most of the country, the male mood was a worrying seventy per cent lower than usual, according to figures which are impossible to check.

An astonishingly large proportion of the bit of the country’s population whose genitals dangle, turned up for work this morning wearing badges that read ‘If you talk to me, I will kill you’.

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