Posts tagged ‘Isle of Wight’

December 31, 2013

2013 in headlines

by philapilus
English: Morgan Freeman at the Cannes film fes...

‘The greatest statesman of our era’

Once again TMB brings you a round-up of the major news stories from the last twelve months, which is our way of helping you impress everyone at the New Year’s Eve party with your amazing memory (and not at all an easy way of churning out an article without actually doing any

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October 29, 2013

Southern England blown into Atlantic by storm

by philapilus
The North-South divide in the United Kingdom

Experts say that it will take months for the St Jude-battered country to return to it’s normal colour

The entire South of England, as well as parts of Wales and the West country, were last night being towed back to the mainland, after monster storm St Jude ripped them loose and hurled them hundreds of miles out to sea.

Although the search has been called off for still-missing parts of Hampshire and Kent, rescue-ships were jubilant this morning to discover the Isle of Wight, which had been swirling round and round in a whirlpool about 80 miles off the coast of Ireland.

Estimates of the economic cost of the storm, which veteran weatherman Michael Fish called ‘the embodiment of evil personified’, have been increasing hourly, but Minister for

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August 29, 2013

Cameron: ‘We must intervene before they use chemical weapons again’

by philapilus

‘Hide in your bunker all you want; you are still utterly fucked’

David Cameron has told an emergency session of the House of Commons this morning that military intervention is completely justified, after inspectors “found conclusive evidence that chemical weapons have been deployed”.

The prime minister told a hushed audience of MPs that “We will no longer watch idly as this nefarious enemy of freedom utilises internationally banned methods of assault.

“Too long have our cows been subjected to virulent TB. Too long have we listened to liberal pussyfooters. And that is why I am standing by the environment secretary, Owen Paterson, and declaring that the pilot badger-culling schemes will now be rolled out nationwide. – effective immediately.”

The question of

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