Posts tagged ‘Islam’

June 14, 2016

Homophobia fine, says world

by philapilus

This is a symbol of god’s everlasting love for, and necessary genocide of, the human race. NOT a symbol for bum-banditry.

Everyone has reached a consensus that homophobia is basically fine, in the wake of America’s most deadly shooting in Orlando at the weekend.

After 49 people were massacred in a gay nightclub by Omar Mateen, the world’s media agreed that Islamic, jihadi, terrorist, and radicalism were the only terms necessary for understanding the murders, and that baseline homophobia – prevalent in mainstream religions and in society more widely – wasn’t really worth mentioning.

Media analyst Professor Hamish McEyebrau said “What we

read more »

Advertisements
November 23, 2015

EXCLUSIVE POLL! 1 in 5 writers for The Sun would DROWN A DOG!

by unpseudable
dog

Tom Newton Dunn, Political Editor of The Sun wants to DROWN THIS DOG*

An exclusive TMB poll of current writers for The Sun newspaper has revealed that a shocking 19% would voluntarily drown a dog.

Furthermore, a shocking 38% of respondents said yes they would ‘probably’ or ‘definitely’ burn every tree on the planet.

Ethics guru, Gary Uru responded to these shocking statistics. “These shocking statistics reveal the depth to which those on the payroll of The Sun might hypothetically sink.  Well, we always knew that some who wrote for the paper had more in common with the cockroach than you or me,

read more »

August 20, 2012

Mob-enforced arrest of child in Pakistan entirely justified, says everyone

by philapilus
8-year-old boy with Down Syndrome

You can tell they are evil little heathens from their fucked-up faces. It’s just God’s way of telling you not to trust them.

Pakistani police confirmed that they have arrested an eleven-year old mentally disabled Christian child for desecrating the Koran, after pressure from an angry crowd threatening to burn down Christian homes.

The girl, believed to have Down’s syndrome, was carrying a waste bag with pages from the Koran in it, and reportedly did not understand police questions.

“But this is no excuse,” said Rights for Everyone is Wrong activist, Dick Splash, “this girl, had she been more mentally cognisant, and not one of those funny little mongs, would almost certainly have realised that what she was doing was committing the heinous and terrible crime of blasphemy, and for that she must pay.”

read more »

April 27, 2012

“Please please me like you used to” say Egyptian female corpses

by philapilus
Mummy of Queen Ahmose Inhapy

Phwooaarrrrr! Be honest; who wouldn't hit that?!

Egypt may be on the cusp of passing a revolutionary piece of legislation, dealing with a thorny area of morality no government has yet dared contemplate.

As the twentieth and twenty-first centuries have brought the world ever closer to full-scale zombie apocalypse, all kinds of new codes of ethics have had to be considered: when is it ok to shoot a toddler in the face? How many times do you have to repeat your father’s name with tears in your eyes before you decapitate him with your ornamental coal-shovel? When you flee the city, is it ever ok to leave behind your annoying son, the one you pretend to love as much as your daughter, (but who really just pisses you off, and drove you to have a vasectomy)?

But so far only Egypt has tried to develop a humane, enlightened policy to consider how Z-day will affect the issue of that strongest demonstration of love and affection; sex.

read more »