Posts tagged ‘Iraq’

April 15, 2016

Exclusive: Chilcot report expected to pin blame for Iraq war on “international jewel thief, Douglas Vanderbildt”

by articulatedsheep

Excerpts from the long-awaited Chilcot Report, leaked exclusively to TMB this evening, reveal the prime culprit of the Iraq War – believed to have contributed to the death of almost half a million Iraqis, as the country slid into chaos following the US-led invasion of 2003 – to be none other than international jewel thief Douglas Vanderbildt.

read more »

February 9, 2015

People who complain about American intervention demand American intervention

by philapilus
File:Angela Merkel 2 Hamburg.jpg

“Merkel ought to get Obama’s bloodlust up: imagine Ann Diamond arriving on your doorstep – and she’s still not forgiven you for tapping her phone”

People unencumbered with brainpower who have spent years telling everyone how terrible the USA is, have decided it would be really good if America could wipe out IS and/or Russia as soon as possible.

Former ‘Anti-Yank’ Tim Twanks said “For years my friends and I have sat around at dinner parties, having lengthy conversations about the evils of the American military-industrial complex, and complaining about

read more »

August 7, 2014

Iraq: followers of Christopher Hitchens flee, as Dennet’s supporters take Qaraqosh

by philapilus

After his death many of Hitch’s followers interpreted his death-rattle as an incitement to terrible Jihad against the Dawkinsist minority.

The crisis in Iraq moved one step further to full-scale civil war yesterday, after thousands of Hitchensites fled from the ruthless Daniel Dennettian militants.

UN experts said that up to a quarter of the country’s Hitchensites were in flight, after Qaraqosh was captured yesterday.

Iraqi Dennettians have unleashed a wave of violence, in their war to secure a pan-Middle Eastern state founded on the principles of Daniel Dennett.

But whilst many devout followers of the Hitch are

read more »

August 17, 2013

Blair: “I wish I’d thought of that”

by articulatedsheep

Watching footage of the Egyptian military brutally massacring protesters on his 64″ HD television at his well-appointed Islington home, former Prime Minister Tony Blair inwardly chastised himself for not thinking to use the same tactics to silence anti-war campaigners in 2003.

Bastard! BASTARD!

Bastard! BASTARD!

“I mean, it’s so obvious when you think about it,” he muttered to himself. “Send in some bulldozers, lay down some machine gun fire – problem solved.”

Blair, who welcomed the wresting of power from Mohammed Morsi by the Egyptian army some weeks ago, has been watching with increasing interest the scenes of bloodshed and carnage that have accompanied the country’s slow slide into inevitable anarchy and civil war.

“I could have done it to get one over Gordon.” Blair suggested to his wife Cherie later. “Just think about it. 2007: he’s pressurising me to resign, Balls and his cronies agitating from the wings. Why didn’t I just arrange to have them shot in their beds, and then declare a state of emergency that would have given me sole executive authority over everything?”

“I suppose you only get these ideas with the benefit of hindsight.” said Blair while absently chewing some cashew nuts.

read more »

February 4, 2013

NRA: “If only Chris Kyle had had more guns”

by philapilus



The NRA has also issued leaflets showing how to prepare for any occasion. This photo is entitled “Recommended position to take up whilst observing your son’s first Little League baseball game.”

The National Rifle Association has issued a statement about the murder of top-sniper, Chris Kyle, in which it heavily criticises the former Navy Seal and Iraq veteran for “Not being quite ‘gunny’ enough, on this occasion.”

Kyle and his neighbour Chad Littlefield were shot dead at a gun range by Eddie Ray Routh, another Iraq veteran who Kyle was trying to counsel through post-traumatic stress disorder. 

The NRA’s statement says “Although the circumstances surrounding the deaths are as yet a little unclear, this organisation firmly believes that the shootings, carried out by a mentally ill man with access to guns, prove our point about the necessity for more guns and freer access to them. Many more guns.”

The statement goes on to say “We don’t yet know

read more »

September 20, 2012

Another British soldier gives birth in Afghanistan

by philapilus
Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

“Let’s face it; it’s a hell of a lot better than blowing your foot off.”

Following the surprise birth yesterday of a baby boy to a British servicewoman in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has today issued a statement that another serving soldier has had a child.

Unlike yesterday’s new mother, who was an anonymous Royal Artillery gunner, the parent of the baby born today has been revealed to the press.

Private John Smith of the Royal Infantry said “I’ve just given birth to a beautiful baby daughter, and I am very happy and healthy, as is she.”

read more »