Posts tagged ‘immigrants’

August 4, 2015

Calais migrants “have not yet unleashed armageddon” say experts

by philapilus

“fucking immigrants”

Analysts confirmed this morning that the South East of England has not yet descended into apocalyptic destruction and horror, despite the fact that a few thousand poor bastards are still trying to get across from Calais.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of Reading Stuff, said “Even though the newspapers are saying that the Calais hopefuls have instigated the end times by climbing over a fence, we went and checked and Kent has completely failed to subside into the broiling maw of the sea, contra all expectations. In fact the

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April 22, 2013

“Move to UK? Um…thanks, but no thanks” say migrants

by philapilus

 

Hours of Delay

Actually there are huge queues of foreign nationals massing in British airports. But only because they’re trying to get out of the bloody country before it becomes even more of a shithole

Patriotic sentiment up and down the country has been wounded and incensed this morning, by news that the mass wave of immigrants expected to come and take everyone’s jobs now seems unlikely to materialise.

BBC Newsnight polls showed that, contrary to the warnings printed in big capital letters in every issue of the Daily Mail for the last few years, hordes of Romanians and Bulgarians “Are not about to descend on the country like a swarm of locusts.”

The polls suggest that people in Romania and Bulgaria would rather go to Italy, Germany, or even North Korea and Papua New Guinea, rather than work in the UK.

Newsnight researchers say

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