Posts tagged ‘HSBC relocating’

February 15, 2016

UK delighted as HSBC says it can come off the naughty step

by philapilus

Happily, Selfless Bankers Care

Celebrations spontaneously broke out in the streets today, after HSBC told Britain that it had decided the country had learned its lesson, and so the self-styled gentle giant wouldn’t be leaving after all.

Percy Spoke, spokesperson for HSBC, said “As you all know, we very, very seriously thought about moving our headquarters out of the UK after you all stamped your little feet and demanded we be somehow ‘regulated’.

“But – selflessly – we have decided to stay and carry on looking after you. To that end you can

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April 24, 2015

Thousands take to streets, begging HSBC not to leave UK

by philapilus

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll wanna settle down; until tomorrow we’ll just keep movin’ on”

The country has been flooded with grief today, after the announcement by beloved bank HSBC that it was looking into relocating away from the UK.

The mass outpouring of sadness resulted in demonstrations across the capital, with members of the public donning sackcloth and ashes, and flagellating themselves, as they wept and pleaded with the bank to stay.

Mourner Tim Twanks sobbed “I’ve been

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