Posts tagged ‘House of Commons of the United Kingdom’

December 10, 2013

MPs ‘brilliant again’ says everyone

by philapilus
English: David Cameron's picture on the 10 Dow...

‘This is my caring face’

After several years of residing in the metaphorical doghouse (largely for buying solid gold actual doghouses), MPs were today welcomed back into the bosom of the British public.

Yesterday’s confirmation of the 11%  payrise MPs are receiving as part of the government’s austerity measures, coincided with an afternoon’s Parliament of talking at length about how great Nelson Mandela was – reminding voters of the bloody good job their

read more »

December 6, 2012

Balls and Osborne in ‘Out-twatting’ draw

by philapilus
Ed Balls

not to be out-twatted…

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne and shadow chancellor Ed Balls finished neck-and-neck in yesterday’s smackdown battle for the coveted ‘total twat’ title.

‘Twatting’, or ‘Out-twatting’ as it is also sometimes known, has a long history within the hallowed halls of Westminster, and is central to parliamentary democratic debate.

According to time-honoured tradition, the process begins when, after having accused one another of doing exactly the same thing, a government minister and his or her opposite number, take turns at the dispatch box to call one another ‘twat’ as many

read more »

November 20, 2012

Oil company furious to discover Peter Lilley is an MP

by philapilus
Global warming ubx

“Global warming is sheer balls; the Earth has ALWAYS had this purplish glow”

The board of Tethys Petroleum was outraged today to discover that Peter Lilley, the company’s Vice Chairman and Senior Independent Non-Executive Director, moonlights as a Conservative MP.

Worse still, he has recently been appointed to sit on the House of Commons Select Committee on Climate Change, which Tethys have branded “An outright conflict of interests”.

A spokesperson said “Frankly Tethys believes that Lilley’s credentials as a sceptic of the climate change claptrap are seriously undermined by the fact that he is being paid a salary to be an MP. How can his judgement not be affected when he receives money to sit on a committee actively involved in investigating this

read more »