Posts tagged ‘homophobia’

June 14, 2016

Homophobia fine, says world

by philapilus

This is a symbol of god’s everlasting love for, and necessary genocide of, the human race. NOT a symbol for bum-banditry.

Everyone has reached a consensus that homophobia is basically fine, in the wake of America’s most deadly shooting in Orlando at the weekend.

After 49 people were massacred in a gay nightclub by Omar Mateen, the world’s media agreed that Islamic, jihadi, terrorist, and radicalism were the only terms necessary for understanding the murders, and that baseline homophobia – prevalent in mainstream religions and in society more widely – wasn’t really worth mentioning.

Media analyst Professor Hamish McEyebrau said “What we

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December 2, 2014

‘More friendly’ HIV causes concern about God’s dedication

by philapilus

God’s way of showing He cares, say morons

Almighty God has come under fire from many of his own followers today, after a major scientific study showed that HIV is now “not quite so good at wiping out the gays”.

The suggestion that HIV was generally chilling out a bit, starting to relax, and generally being less deadly, has caused some key church figures to question whether God might be going a bit soft.

Pastor Willy Stroker, of the Church of Christ’s Love and Unmitigated Wrath, said “The Lord is infallible, obviously, but I would just like to remind Him that

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March 3, 2014

“Black, gay, jobless immigrants to side with the Scots?!” screams Daily Mail

by philapilus
File:Flag of Scotland.svg

“My mate told me that someone in the pub reckons the Scots and their Ugandan minions plan to crucify the English on it, in the manner of St Andrew”

Most of Middle England had a heart attack this afternoon, after Scotland offered asylum to homosexual Ugandan refugees, fleeing persecution under new anti-gay laws.

President Yoweri Museveni’s  outlawing of gay sex, gay marriage, speaking camply, or quite enjoying the pop music of the 1980s un-ironically, has left many in the country feeling they had nowhere to turn.

But Jock McStrap, Scottish Minister for England-bothering, said “Aye, send em aul o’er heer, we dinnae min’. If it macks yon English shat their troosers, aul the better, d’ye ken? The muir the murrier.”

The parts of

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January 22, 2014

Homophobic Clarkson enlisted to tackle hydrophilic gays

by philapilus

“Quick everyone, on to the life-rafts; gayness floods are coming!”

Christians lucky enough to be unencumbered with high IQs have petitioned Jeremy Clarkson to visit Britain’s flooded areas, and “repel the waters like a modern day King Cnut”, after the presenter posted a homophobic image on twitter.

The photograph showed Clarkson sleeping in a plane, whilst a BBC employee held up a sign inscribed with the witty message ‘Gay Cunt’, next to the Top Gear presenter’s head.

“Jeremy is a true warrior for Christ.” said disgraced Ukip member David Silvester, (who thinks God sends floods to punish the UK for allowing gay marriage, and yet inexplicably thinks we should blame gays rather than, say, the deity who sends all the fucking water).

Silvester added “I believe Jeremy can

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