Posts tagged ‘Hollande’

January 20, 2014

Appeal: help world leaders avoid footwear crisis

by philapilus

It doesn’t have to be like this

Can you imagine the shock of slipping on a red carpet because the soles on your shoes are too worn down?

The horror of tripping on the stairs as you leave the official jet because your laces no longer tie properly?

The ignominy of being caught in flagrante, allegedly attending an adulterous tryst, because you are literally too fucking stupid to wear a different pair of shoes to the ones that you wore whilst being photographed by the entire world’s media the day before (like seriously, wtf were you thinking)?

For many

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February 8, 2013

Breaking News: France capitulates to Mali

by philapilus
Satellite image of Mali

Big diggers are being used to cut out Mali, so it can be airlifted to the European mainland by a fleet of helicopters and stitched onto the side of France.

This morning the French forces suppressing Islamist insurgency in Mali have surrendered to the numerically inferior rebels, in accordance with their time-honoured military traditions.

President Hollande has announced that he will officially cede power at 11AM, and a Vichy-style government will be

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