Posts tagged ‘Holiday’

November 11, 2013

John Lewis forced to admit it came up with bear and hare advert all by itself

by philapilus
Ursus arctos middendorffi /kodiak bear/ Kodiakbär

Go on, just try patting him on the head and saying ‘Happy Christmas’…

After accusations of plagiarism were roundly dismissed, John Lewis was forced to accept responsibility for the appallingly twee, sentimental dross it is using to try and convince people to give them money this Christmas.

The retailer had attempted to dissociate itself from the advert, by planting rumours that it was a rip-off of

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November 11, 2013

Annual ‘Christmas is too early’ complainants begin complaints too early this year

by philapilus
English: King's College, Cambridge, UK, under ...

The Prodge recorded many of their most famous songs here, including “Punch women in the face” “I’m the Arsonist” and “melody with four notes repeated forever over an uninventive drum-track”

People who complain yearly about how early Christmas adverts and products begin to appear, got annoyed even more prematurely than in previous years, according to an official study.

In July this year, as various stores prepared for their incredibly long pre-Christmas marketing campaigns, which were due to start in August, a rumour that they had in fact already begun was spread amongst those gleefully caustic sods who can’t wait to start complaining about it.

In July unemployed miserable bastard Tim Twanks tweeted “Can’t believe it, commercialisation of Christmas started more early than ever, apparently shops are ALREADY playing

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December 20, 2012

21/12/12 apocalypse to be caused by Christmas lights

by philapilus
English: Christmas lights in Haughton, Staffor...

Sort of like the Sistine chapel

A study published this morning warns that the Mayan prediction of the ending of the world this Friday has been verified by scientific evidence, and will in fact be a direct result of Christmas decorative lighting.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough Roundabout Institute for Apocalypse and Taxidermy Studies, said “What people don’t seem to realise is that the proliferation of absolute aesthetic horror that is the draping of houses with gaudy flashing lights, will in a matter of hours bring about the end of days.

“You know your neighbour, with the garden full of neon reindeer, a 12 foot glowing santa on her roof, and multi-coloured lights surrounding every window and flashing 24 hours a day for six weeks? Well thanks to her, you are utterly fucked, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can

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