Posts tagged ‘High Speed 2’

October 28, 2013

HS2 alternative “Almost as disruptive as HS2” warns report

by philapilus
English: Danny Alexander MP addressing a Liber...

For decades hence an image of this face will accompany the definition of the word ‘Success’ in every encylopedia

A government-commissioned report by Network Rail and Atkins claims that the alternative to the highly unpopular HS2 rail link would be “probably almost as much hassle as HS2, so we might as well do it anyway”.

The report warns that upgrading existing rail lines instead of building unwanted new ones “Will be a massive fag, and will cost almost half as much, and since we already printed the brochures, and spent ages doing an HS2 Powerpoint presentation, when

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January 10, 2012

Birmingham to be Evacuated

by philapilus
English: Trains to Stansted and Birmingham The...

The emergency project to create a high speed rail-line between Birmingham and London has been green-lit by the government today, despite strenuous opposition from several quarters.

The plan for ‘High Speed Two’ was pushed through by Justine Greening and Theresa May, (Transport and Home Secretaries respectively), after the two realised quite how many people desperately want to escape Birmingham. The city was famously once turned down by Satan as a potential location to expand his Hell franchise for being “Too unbelievably horrific”. Even Holiday Inn thought twice before eventually opening up there.

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