Posts tagged ‘Health Secretary’

August 4, 2014

GPs telling patients to ‘fuck *ff’ by phone “not making them less ill”

by philapilus

Rubbish for listening to heartbeats

Doctors who instruct patients to bugger off over the phone are not successfully lowering the numbers of people seeking medical help, according to a new study.

The report, published in the Lancet, found that the new ‘time-saving’ measures, whereby patients telephone their GP rather than visit the surgery, “are not fooling anyone.”

It states that “People who have genuine medical issues still

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March 13, 2014

Jeremy Hunt given power to blow up hospitals

by philapilus
Jeremy Hunt visiting the Kaiser Permanente Center for Total Health, 700 Second St, Washington, USA-3June2013.jpg

The bill also gives the Health Secretary the right of ‘jus prima noctis’ throughout the United Kingdom and Commonwealth

A bill passed on Tuesday has given Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt the power to plant high explosives inside every hospital in the country and then detonate them “as and when he deems it necessary or entertaining”.

A Conservative spokesperson said this morning “After Jeremy failed to shut down Lewisham Hospital because the High Court ruled it unlawful, we decided that the best thing to do was change the law.

“It’s worked really well. We think we’re going to do it for everything from now on; it makes our job so much easier. Maybe we’ll even bring in a law that says you have to vote Conservative. That’d be good.”

Hunt’s new powers also include the ability to shut immediately any hospital that has a vowel in its name, and legally enforces

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