Posts tagged ‘Harriet Harman’

August 25, 2015

Labour to “weed out” anyone voting for Corbyn, says Harman

by philapilus

“The world will end” claims Harman

Harriet Harman has promised that the upcoming Labour leadership ballot will be “scrupulously fair and impartial” to which end “party activists are working round the clock to exclude anyone thinking of voting for one candidate in particular – I don’t think I have to name him, but it’s not Andy.”

The acting Labour leader warned that “thousands of cheats are attempting to infiltrate the party, purely to exploit the voting system in order to democratically vote for a candidate who some of us don’t want them to vote for.”

Many senior Labour officials are

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May 13, 2015

Labour leadership contest: the candidates

by philapilus

They’re a sorry bunch, but just remember: it could be so SO much worse

Following Ed Miliband’s disastrous defeat last week, we bring you an update on all the candidates who have thrown their hats into the ring for the leadership of the Labour party.

Chuka Umunna: Umunna has really won over the youth vote, with his description of West End nightclubbers as ‘trash’. He has been described as the British Barack Obama, not because he resembles the American president, nor has similar politics, but largely because white people can’t name any other black political figures.

Joseph Stalin: Often described as being ‘hard left’, Stalin has vowed to

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May 11, 2015

Conservatives introducing ‘complete bastard’ agenda

by philapilus

New policies

David Cameron has announced that his new Conservative majority government will bring in a series of measures “designed to showcase the hideous bastard that lies within our collective soul”.

The prime minister said this morning “I had a great chat with the Queen on Friday, despite the fact we were both massively hungover from all the celebrating.

“I informed Her Majesty that I was going to be scrapping the Human Rights Act, bringing back fox hunting, ratcheting up austerity, clamping down on

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February 26, 2014

“What’s a ‘daily mail’?” asks Harriet Harman

by philapilus

Really? You’re REALLY actually going to take this on?

The deputy Labour leader has today asked someone to explain to her what the Daily Mail is, after it transpired she clearly doesn’t have the first clue about what Paul Dacre’s newspaper does.

The Mail had attacked Harman, for having some tenuous link, through the National Council for Civil Liberties, with the despicable Paedophile Information Exchange, a group which campaigned for ‘kiddyfiddlers’ rights’ in the 1970s.

Ms Harman said “Whatever this Daily Mail thing is, they should apologise, and put an end to what seems to be some sort of deliberate smear campaign. Such rudeness and deliberate character assassination is unheard of in the British press.”

However, given the infinite

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