Posts tagged ‘Godfrey Bloom’

January 22, 2014

Homophobic Clarkson enlisted to tackle hydrophilic gays

by philapilus

“Quick everyone, on to the life-rafts; gayness floods are coming!”

Christians lucky enough to be unencumbered with high IQs have petitioned Jeremy Clarkson to visit Britain’s flooded areas, and “repel the waters like a modern day King Cnut”, after the presenter posted a homophobic image on twitter.

The photograph showed Clarkson sleeping in a plane, whilst a BBC employee held up a sign inscribed with the witty message ‘Gay Cunt’, next to the Top Gear presenter’s head.

“Jeremy is a true warrior for Christ.” said disgraced Ukip member David Silvester, (who thinks God sends floods to punish the UK for allowing gay marriage, and yet inexplicably thinks we should blame gays rather than, say, the deity who sends all the fucking water).

Silvester added “I believe Jeremy can

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September 21, 2013

UKIP conference “chaos” after Farage and Bloom revelations

by articulatedsheep

The UK Independence Party’s annual conference has descended into acrimony following a succession of revelations about leader Nigel Farage’s behaviour as a seventeen-year old, and off-colour comments made by UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom.

Farage is alleged to have sung Hitler Youth songs when on a night exercise with his school’s Combined Cadet Force when in sixth form. A letter, written at the time by a teacher, has emerged expressing concern about his behaviour.

I done a guff

I done a guff

“This is astonishing.” said UKIP-watcher Rick Astley. “A lot of people will be shocked not only that Farage was once seventeen, but that he was seventeen in 1981.”

“This means that when the Sex Pistols released ‘God Save the Queen’, he was thirteen years old.”

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