Posts tagged ‘German’

May 2, 2013

Nazi Germany “Full of people pretending to be pot-plants”

by philapilus
A mass rally on Tempelhof field, 1 May 1935

This crowd were pretending to be a large garden-centre. Obviously.

A new history of the Third Reich by Nigel Farage has made the bold and novel claim that the vast majority of people in the country were swept up in a faddish craze which is only now beginning to be understood.

In Why it’s Fine to Goosestep Farage states that, contrary to the popular belief that Germany was in thrall to a bunch of racist chubnuts, the 1930s and 1940s were characterised by “A really jolly craze, in which people pretended to be pot-plants. I believe it was as widespread then as Gangnam is now. Whatever that is.”

His thesis came to light after he was able to explain that a Ukip candidate was not, in fact, making a Nazi salute in a photograph discovered online, but was imitating a pot-plant, whilst

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February 19, 2013

Everyone finally understands horrors of Eurovision

by philapilus
A map of Europe showing how many times each co...

This WHO guide shows which countries produce music that could seriously damage your brain and/or ears, in ascending order of awfulness

Controversy over Germany’s 2013 Eurovision entry may signal the end of the mass-myopia that has allowed the song contest to survive, according to the results of a poll published today.

Researchers approached members of the public across Europe, and played them the German song ‘Glorious’ followed by last year’s winning Swedish song ‘Euphoria’.

Then the researcher would reveal that both were Eurovision entries, and hold up a very big card, with the word “SEE?” written on it, in

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January 15, 2013

Germany’s sense of humour finally found

by philapilus
Adolf Hitler in Yugoslavia.

He saw himself as Germany’s answer to Charlie Chaplin

After years of suffering the indignity of being internationally mocked for their inability to be funny, po-faced Germans have today discovered where their sense of humour has been hiding all this time.

Scientists claim that the 26-year old student who mooned a group of Hell’s Angels, threw a puppy at them, and then escaped incredibly slowly on a bulldozer, was clearly imbued with the entire condensed funniness of the last seven generations of the Germanic peoples.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough Institute for Humour and Dog-hurling, said “Ordinarily, a nation’s funniness is spread more or less evenly across a population, and throughout the generations.

“What has happened here is that all

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