Posts tagged ‘Galloway’

March 9, 2017

My new children’s books, by George Galloway

by philapilus
Untitled

Aaaaaaarr!

As I am sure everyone in the English-speaking world has by now heard, I am humbly offering yet another literary masterpiece of mine to the world’s readers – but this time, the little ones!

Yes, it is true, I will be writing a series of children’s books. Written by me, these books will feature a pirate creation of mine, Red George.

Having considered all the things that might be good for a children’s book, my giant intellect rested upon a

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December 6, 2013

Obituary: Nelson Mandela, by George Galloway

by philapilus
George Galloway

‘It’s not all about me, you know’

English: Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, Gaute...

RIP

Like everyone else I was shocked and saddened this morning to learn of the death of Nelson Mandela, a man whom I can honestly say I admired almost as much as he admired me.

The passing of a titan from the world’s stage leaves us all the poorer, especially those of us titans remaining, and I want to take a moment to reflect on Mandela’s amazing life and incredible achievements.

“A man whose entire being was devoted to struggling for fairness and equality, a man who suffered for others, and bore his suffering in silence, a man who has fought and lived – whilst being willing to die – for an ideal” was how Nelson described me, in what

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March 6, 2013

Remembering Chavez: by George Galloway

by philapilus
George Galloway

Chavez kept this picture of me in a locket, which he wore around his neck at all times. It was his dying wish that it be buried with him, lying open over his heart.

With the death yesterday of Venezuela’s president, Hugo Chavez, the world has lost not only one of the greatest leaders of the modern era, but one of its greatest judges of character – of any epoch or nation whatsoever.

When I travelled to Venezuela to work on his re-election campaign last year, Chavez greeted me, saying “It is an honour to meet you, Mr Galloway. Your intelligence, political integrity and superlative oratorical skills, are matched perhaps only by your rugged handsome charm and mellifluous celtic voice.”

I thanked him for the compliment and saluted his indefatigibility. We both agreed that this was truly a meeting of massive intellects, and my friend Hugo told me

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August 21, 2012

“Rape, schmape” say experts

by philapilus
George Galloway

“No-one can complain if you just stick a finger in”

George Galloway has boldly entered the fray of the complex and nuanced debate over when forcibly sticking your cock inside someone else constitutes rape.

Galloway, proud winner of this year’s Oleaginous Little Prick Award, addressed the thorny issue of non-consensual sex on his weekly online broadcast ‘Goodnight with George Galloway’ – a programme which has higher viewer ratings than Morecambe and Wise at the height of their fame.

Galloway claimed that ramming the old todger inside someone who was asleep and couldn’t argue  was pretty much absolutely fine if they had already invited you to bed, and that “not everyone needs to be asked prior to each insertion”.

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