Posts tagged ‘Enoch Powell’

December 23, 2013

Cameron: ‘If I’m like Enoch, then Vince Cable is Mussolini’

by philapilus
English: Nick Clegg and Vince Cable

Vince and Nick “or Benito and Adolf, as I like to call ’em!” sneered Shapps

Senior tories have rounded on Vince Cable, after the Business Secretary suggested current immigration concerns are slightly reminiscent of earlier panics, such as the one which precipitated Enoch Powell’s infamous ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech.

Conservative chairman Grant Shapps said Cable was “Like an uppity house negro who’s powdered his face and thinks he can ‘strut wid’ de masser'”, while Nigel Mills, MP for Amber Valley, called Cable “a demented hellspawn, who should be hung from the gallows after such base treachery on a TV programme.”

The prime minister, who was told by the chairman that Cable had definitively called him “The dog-sodomising offspring of Thatcher and Enoch Powell” reportedly told Shapps to

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October 7, 2013

Cabinet reshuffle expected this week

by philapilus
English: More clowns at Clown School

The new line-up pose for a photo at No.10

Rumours of an anticipated cabinet reshuffle have heightened, after Chloe Smith and John Randall stepped down from their government posts on Sunday.

The two signed a joint letter of resignation, saying “Dave, you are a twat. We know you were going to axe us, so we’re off. Go fuck yourself with a splintery broom-handle.”

Although the Prime Minister has been relatively secretive about when the reshuffle will happen, a Westminster source says that the likely recipients of certain posts are “obvious really. It’s a no-brainer.” The expected changes include the following:

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January 7, 2013

Public sadness as Stephen Lennon is jailed

by philapilus
English Defence League march in Newcastle

If only they would…

Tributes and commiserations have poured in from well-wishers and public dignitaries today, after it was announced that the leader of the far-right English Defence League has been jailed for ten months.

Stephen Lennon, whose only crime was to attempt illegally to enter the United States, using a false passport – after being previously banned from visiting because of several other convictions including assault and drugs offences – has received countless messages of support.

“This is obviously just a political imprisonment,” said Nelson Mandela, “Stephen Lennon has always stood up for the rights of others, has always been uncompromising in his search for peace and equality. You couldn’t wish to meet a better person, with

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March 19, 2012

Cameron “bored to tears” of trying to fix Britain

by philapilus
English: Isambard Kingdom Brunel against the l...

Cameron says "Handing over the running of things to Johnny Foreigner is what made Britain Great."

David Cameron will today announce in a speech that Britain is nowhere near as good as he thought, and rather than do the tiresome work of actually having to run it, he would quite like to just sell it off bit by bit.

“Having noticed how fantastically well privatisation always, always, always works,” Cameron is expected to say, “I am going to use the huge political mandate that you, the people of this country, overwhelmingly handed me, to sell Britain.”

He will go on to outline the vital importance of infrastructure to the efficient running of a country and its economy, before saying “which is why it is vital that we hand over as much of it as possible to private firms and other countries.

“Starting with something small, as a trial-run, that won’t affect anyone too badly if it all goes tits-up. Like the road system.”

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