Posts tagged ‘English Defence League’

June 11, 2013

EDL “Wouldn’t hurt a fly” says leader

by philapilus
Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), political and ...

“I model myself on this guy, honestly. Sometimes I even black-up with a burnt cork, and do a funny wog-voice. The boys have hysterics. I ask you, is THAT the sort of thing a racist would do?”

Tommy Robinson, leader of the EDL said today that violence was not something that was in any way whatsoever endorsed by his organisation, especially not by any members such as himself, with previous convictions for violence.

Speaking of his balaclava-wearing, charmingly illiterate group of skinheaded gentlemen, Robinson said “You couldn’t meet a nicer bunch of lads. Real softies at heart, and definitely not the type to engage in racially-motivated violence, even if they occasionally make the odd threat about doing that kind of thing. That’s just for a laugh really.”

Speaking to the BBC Radio 4 Today programme, Robinson, who has previously

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May 24, 2013

Masturbators of the Month!

by philapilus
The wanker gesture - fingers and thumb in circ...

This month’s lot touch wood so furiously that they start small fires everywhere they go…

This morning our ‘Wanker of the Week’ editor received so many thousands of nominations that she couldn’t possibly get them all out of the envelopes and count them without missing at least seven of her numerous fag-breaks, and seriously cutting into her Freecell time as well.

As far as we could tell, after checking the first few ‘Wanker’ sackfuls (hur hur), most of your postal votes seemed to be

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January 7, 2013

Public sadness as Stephen Lennon is jailed

by philapilus
English Defence League march in Newcastle

If only they would…

Tributes and commiserations have poured in from well-wishers and public dignitaries today, after it was announced that the leader of the far-right English Defence League has been jailed for ten months.

Stephen Lennon, whose only crime was to attempt illegally to enter the United States, using a false passport – after being previously banned from visiting because of several other convictions including assault and drugs offences – has received countless messages of support.

“This is obviously just a political imprisonment,” said Nelson Mandela, “Stephen Lennon has always stood up for the rights of others, has always been uncompromising in his search for peace and equality. You couldn’t wish to meet a better person, with

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June 17, 2012

Danny Boyle revamps Olympics ceremony plan

by philapilus - Comic-Con 2009 - Stargat...

Unlike everybody else involved, this man would still be able to find work next year…

Since the unveiling last week of Danny Boyle’s bucolic vision for the 2012 opening ceremony, the public’s initial surprise and befuddled confusion has turned to nausea and increasingly irate revulsion, with the result that Boyle has been asked to drastically revise his ideas.

The director’s original plan for a sickeningly quirky stage-set of pastoral Britain showcased a green and pleasant microcosm of the four nations.

The sights of a county cricket match, children doing maypole dances, and buxom lasses pulling warm pints of bitter in thatched-roof pubs, were carefully balanced with scenes of casual racial violence, failed tennis players sobbing into their clenched fists, and large queues of grumbling misanthropic bastards standing indefinitely at bus stops, waiting for buses that never come.

The finale was to be a vast, waddling parade of overweight pregnant teens, wearing jewellery stolen from Argos in the riots.

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