Posts tagged ‘energy’

October 29, 2013

“Exploitation by the Big 60, not the Big 6” promises Cameron

by philapilus
English: Ed Miliband, British politician and S...

Ed has said he will ‘Strangle the corporations with the big red hand of socialism’

With less than eighteen months to go until the next election, David Cameron yesterday took the fight to Ed Miliband on energy policy, as he unveiled his answer to Labour’s promised price freeze; “increase the number of total-bastard suppliers”.

‘Bunch of arseholes’

A government energy expert said that Cameron was “Drawing a new political line in the sand. A really good line, straight and true, on a nice big fresh bit of unmarked sand.

“Just down there, near where the tide’s coming in, see?”

After the six main suppliers of

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October 23, 2013

Major attacks Cameron on energy policy

by articulatedsheep

In a surprise intervention, former Prime Minister John Major has attacked the Coalition’s energy policy.

Dat crump, fam

Dat crump, fam

Major was elected to his Huntingdon seat in Parliament in 1979, before becoming Prime Minister in 1990. Following his emphatic electoral defeat in 1997 and his subsequent decision to withdraw from frontline politics, he relocated to south London’s notorious Aylesbury Estate near Peckham, where today he scrapes a living as a small time drug dealer and DJ.

“I sez to him, ‘It bait, bruv.'” Major explained to reporters. “‘Fam, round dis ends everyone know them retail electricity market is a jinels.’ But he givin’ me air, innit.”

“Is I vexed though?” Major continued with a sigh. “Iss standard, blud.”

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March 24, 2012

New deep-water well west of Shetland “will be absolutely fine” say BP

by articulatedsheep

The Government have granted BP permission to drill for oil in deep waters west of Shetland, having been satisfied by the oil company’s assertion that, “you know, law of averages and everything, how likely is it that the same thing is going to happen again? You know, seriously.”

BP’s detailed submission to Government featured a photograph of an oil-covered sea bird with a big cross through it, above a caption reading “UNLIKELY. WE THINK.”

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