Posts tagged ‘Egypt’

August 17, 2013

Blair: “I wish I’d thought of that”

by articulatedsheep

Watching footage of the Egyptian military brutally massacring protesters on his 64″ HD television at his well-appointed Islington home, former Prime Minister Tony Blair inwardly chastised himself for not thinking to use the same tactics to silence anti-war campaigners in 2003.

Bastard! BASTARD!

Bastard! BASTARD!

“I mean, it’s so obvious when you think about it,” he muttered to himself. “Send in some bulldozers, lay down some machine gun fire – problem solved.”

Blair, who welcomed the wresting of power from Mohammed Morsi by the Egyptian army some weeks ago, has been watching with increasing interest the scenes of bloodshed and carnage that have accompanied the country’s slow slide into inevitable anarchy and civil war.

“I could have done it to get one over Gordon.” Blair suggested to his wife Cherie later. “Just think about it. 2007: he’s pressurising me to resign, Balls and his cronies agitating from the wings. Why didn’t I just arrange to have them shot in their beds, and then declare a state of emergency that would have given me sole executive authority over everything?”

“I suppose you only get these ideas with the benefit of hindsight.” said Blair while absently chewing some cashew nuts.

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April 27, 2012

“Please please me like you used to” say Egyptian female corpses

by philapilus
Mummy of Queen Ahmose Inhapy

Phwooaarrrrr! Be honest; who wouldn't hit that?!

Egypt may be on the cusp of passing a revolutionary piece of legislation, dealing with a thorny area of morality no government has yet dared contemplate.

As the twentieth and twenty-first centuries have brought the world ever closer to full-scale zombie apocalypse, all kinds of new codes of ethics have had to be considered: when is it ok to shoot a toddler in the face? How many times do you have to repeat your father’s name with tears in your eyes before you decapitate him with your ornamental coal-shovel? When you flee the city, is it ever ok to leave behind your annoying son, the one you pretend to love as much as your daughter, (but who really just pisses you off, and drove you to have a vasectomy)?

But so far only Egypt has tried to develop a humane, enlightened policy to consider how Z-day will affect the issue of that strongest demonstration of love and affection; sex.

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