Posts tagged ‘Duncan Smith’

December 13, 2013

EU migrants to face 100 ‘most dastardly questions’ IDS can devise

by philapilus
English: Iain Duncan Smith-Nightingale House-M...

Shown here retaking O-level Maths for the 47th time, it is believed that Duncan Smith (who lied about having studied at the University of Perugia) thinks exams are the worst fate anyone can suffer

From today all EU migrants wanting to come to the UK will have to answer 100 questions written by Iain Duncan Smith, and then allow him to spit in their mouths, before they can claim benefits.

A spokesperson for the Department of Work and Pensions said “Immigration is a huge worry for us. We’ve all been basically running around the office, waving our hands in the air and screaming constantly, for about ten months now.

“Most mornings when I’ve taken the Minister his coffee, I’ve found him sitting under his desk, gently rocking backwards and forwards, muttering ‘Bulgarians, Romanians, millions of them…millions of

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April 2, 2013

Duncan Smith rushed to hospital after £53pw challenge backfires

by philapilus
English: Iain Duncan Smith, British politician...

If he doesn’t pull through, Iain will always be remembered for his kind heart and dashing good looks

The Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith, was taken to hospital in what was described as a ‘dangerously critical condition’ this morning, less than 2 hours into his attempt to survive for a week on £53.

Duncan Smith had gamely taken up the challenge to prove his claim that living on the minimum benefits allowance was “a piece of piss”, and agreed to a trial beginning at 7:30AM today.

But after spending almost all

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