Posts tagged ‘creationism’

June 10, 2015

Walmart ‘Mom fight’ video wrecks both theory of evolution and creationism

by philapilus

It really is the only way

The normally opposing worlds of science and religion have been brought together today in joint recognition of their failure, after it became clear that not only does humanity display no traits of being highly evolved, but it is also too despicable to have been divinely ordained.

The revelation came after a video of two women fighting on the floor in an Indiana Walmart went viral, proving indisputably that both the prole-ish participants, and the gleefully voyeuristic internet audience, are all just absolutely vile.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, ex-evolutionary scientist said “I have argued for years that

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May 7, 2014

Beginning of Universe recreated in lab by Christian physicists

by philapilus
'Let there be light'

‘Let there be light’

An astonishingly detailed recreation of the evolution of the universe has been unveiled by a team of internationally renowned religious scientists.

The group, led by Reverend Professor Woody Dicks, have created a computer simulation, which they say matches the available data with such breathtaking accuracy that it is considered “completely impossible” for it to contain a single flaw.

Dicks said “We even solved the problem of Dark Matter, which has puzzled the atheists for years. But if you watch the simulation carefully, you’ll see that right at the start of the video, it’s really, really, really dark.

“Good, eh?”

The simulation begins with an

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June 26, 2012

Lonesome George’s death proves creationism beyond any doubt

by philapilus
English: Richard Dawkins at New York City's Co...

Now unemployable

The passing of Lonesome George yesterday, the rarest animal on Earth, was a cause of great sadness to environmentalists, conservationists and fans of big, slow-moving things that don’t have sex – but has also had unexpected metaphysical consequences.

George was the last surviving member of the Pinta subspecies, and was seen as a living symbol of the theory of evolution, which Darwin developed partly through observing the subspecies of giant tortoises on the Galapagos islands.

But yesterday, discovering his corpse lying on its back, George’s keeper and zoo officials were shocked to spot a small maker’s signature on the roof of the mouth, reading simply ‘God, 1908’.

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