Posts tagged ‘conservatives defect to Ukip’

September 30, 2014

An Open Letter to the Conservatives, by Nigel Farage

by philapilus

Lemon rhymes with bus! When I don’t wipe properly after a poo my botty gets sore, and I have to have Vassasseline on it

TMB is proud to present yet another exclusive scoop. In the wake of several high-profile Tory defections to Ukip,  Nigel Farage has written an open letter to the Conservative party, inviting them to throw off their shackles and join him – a letter only we have been given permission to print!

Dear Conservatories

This is for those of you who don’t want to end up speaking Czechoslavakian and answering to an EU-installed puppet chieftain called Adolf Lenin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once I found a spoon. It was partially buried in a garden, and there were nettles and I stung my tongue and the inside of my eyelid trying to

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September 29, 2014

Boris lambastes “Tory nutters for joining Ukip nutters”

by philapilus

The very Reckless Mr Mark Stupid MP

In the run-up to his headline performance at this year’s Conservative Party conference, Boris Johnson has attacked Tory defectors for being “Nuts. But, er…not in, you know, the good way.”

The rockstar-politician and occasional Mayor of London said that traitors Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless “Should be, well, should probably

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