Posts tagged ‘communists’

July 31, 2012

Mitt Romney to Executive Produce new string of Rambo movies

by philapilus
Mitt Romney

Romney might even have a cameo role as Rambo’s superior officer, allowing him to speak directly to the audience about why red Russia must be stopped.

Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney has announced his intention to reboot the Rambo franchise, with a new series of films in which the quintessential hero lays waste to America’s enemies.

The films, currently planned as a trilogy, will feature an impossibly muscled man wearing a bandana tied round his head, firing all manner of heavy-calibre weaponry, and racking up bodycounts equal to the Black Death. The main antagonist will be Russia.

Romney’s campaign manager, Wendy Nailinthehead, said “Mitt will be financing and executive producing these films, which will all be about veteran soldier John Rambo kicking the shit out of Russkis.

“Them commie bastards is going to get what’s coming to them. They’re gonna be all like ‘We’re gonna take over the world’, and Rambo’s gonna be all like ‘Not on my watch, Red’ and the audience will be all like ‘Awwww yeah!'”

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