Posts tagged ‘Charles Saatchi’

January 23, 2014

Saatchi and Taki fight will confirm pointlessness of humanity

by philapilus

‘Any minute now one of them will throw a punch, and it’ll be the most exciting, important thing in the entire world’

Experts have said that the anticipated cage-fight, which Charles Saatchi and Taki Theodoracopulos have been challenging one another to in the Spectator, will justify the eradication of the human race.

77 year old millionaire Theodoracopulos first called out the 70 year old art dealer Saatchi, over the latter’s public assault on wife, Nigella Lawson.

Saatchi responded by basically saying “Come on then!”

The prospect of watching two flabby septagenarians tussling – whilst

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November 27, 2013

Nigella’s ‘accidental’ illegal ingredient

by philapilus
Cocaine powder

“Doesn’t that look like salt to you?”

It has emerged that TV chef Nigella Lawson has been ‘accidentally’ adding cocaine to her cooking for several years.

“It was completely unintentional,” insisted an embarrassed Nigella, “I was going to add some baking soda to a bread recipe, and realised I ‘d run out.

“The cornershop didn’t have any, and Tesco was shut.

“Then this guy approached me on the street and asked was I looking for something. Well, he

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June 18, 2013

Saatchi ‘attacker’: “I was only cuddling him”

by philapilus
English: blood, human, splatter, drops

Charles must have spilt some wine on the tablecloth. Actually it’s really quite beauiful, maybe it could go in his collection.

A man who was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting art collector Charles Saatchi has been released today, after explaining that he was only, in fact, giving him a cuddle.

The reclusive multi-millionaire was sitting at a restaurant enjoying a late dinner, said witnesses, when a man in a dark suit ran across the road and appeared to grab him by the throat.

He then seemed to repeatedly punch Saatchi’s face whilst throttling him, before kicking him in

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