Posts tagged ‘Cameron twat’

April 20, 2016

“Sadiq Khan is muslim-coloured!” yells Cameron at PMQs

by philapilus
File:Sadiq Khan, September 2009.jpg

EXTREMISM!!!!!*

David Cameron caused considerable surprise today at Prime Minister’s Questions when he climbed up on the bench, pointed at Sadiq Khan MP, and shouted “Muuuussssslimmmmmm! Brrowwwwnn musssslim!”

As the prime minister continued to point and shriek, conservative MPs rose to their feet to get a better look at Khan, then joined the pm in horrified declamations.

“It was a terrifying spectacle,” said a Labour frontbencher, “just like in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, when the

read more »

Advertisements
October 4, 2015

2015 tory conference: Hunt mobbed by fans, Cameron praised for tax credit cuts

by philapilus

Beloved

The 2015 Conservative conference has already been judged a huge success, with witnesses describing an electric atmosphere at the Manchester venue.

Activists and party grandees cheered and cried out ‘Hosanna’ as David Cameron arrived riding his giant wild boar, Pickles, and strewing the ground before him with palm leaves.

After the prime minister dismounted he pissed in the face of a street urchin and announced that he would not be changing his mind on

read more »

March 12, 2015

Cameron-Miliband PMQs exchange voted ‘best ever’

by philapilus

A panel of experts has said that Wednesday’s argument between the prime minister and the leader of the opposition was “the greatest ever display of political debate, rhetoric and intellectual acumen this country has seen.”

The exchange which took place during this week’s Prime Minister’s Questions, involved David Cameron and Ed Miliband cerebrally trading blows over the proposals for the televised pre-election debates.

Miliband began with a well-rehearsed flourish, asking “Mr Speaker, is the Prime Minister aware that he is feeble, ugly, and a big girly coward?”

But Cameron was

read more »

February 10, 2015

Cameron pledges UK-wide pay rise will exclude entire public sector

by philapilus

“No.”

David Cameron is today calling on the British Chamber of Commerce to give staff a pay rise, whilst promising public sector workers will continue to live in penury “because it makes me chuckle.”

The Prime Minister is using the BCC annual conference as a platform to unveil a new policy-drive, which aims to ensure that prosperity will not be passed on to state employees, in case they start to get ideas.

Mr Cameron said “Britain is working hard, and deserves to be rewarded. But that’s just a suggestion – do whatever

read more »

November 11, 2014

Cameron scores major EU victory, demanding legislation already in place

by philapilus

“And another thing; we demand that all of Europe apart from us adopt a common currency and call it, I dunno, ‘the Euro’, or something.”

The Conservatives are claiming credit for putting pressure on Europe today, after a thing they have been pushing for turned out to be already covered under current laws.

David Cameron said that an EU Court ruling, that member states can refuse financial aid to so-called benefit tourists,  “Supports not only my opinion, but the whole thinking of the Conservative party in general.

“I am glad they have finally bowed to British pressure, my requests, and decent common sense, in introducing this legal right, several years before I demanded they do so.”

But some critics suggest

read more »

July 15, 2013

Iain Duncan Smith revealed as fake

by philapilus
English: Iain Duncan Smith-London March 2010

It should have been obvious to anyone this was just a clown in a grotesque mask having a laugh

This morning David Cameron’s credibility suffered another blow, after it transpired that his Work and Pensions Secretary is not real.

Commenting on the benefits cap being unrolled today, the Prime Minister tweeted Duncan Smith’s on Twitter, only to discover that it was in fact a parody account he had tweeted.

But worse was to follow, as Cameron’s staff tried to find the DWP minister to see what was going on, and discovered that not only was he not in his office, but, technically speaking, he does not exist.

Percy Spoke, spokesperson for

read more »