Posts tagged ‘Calais violence’

June 30, 2015

UK sends bit of fence to France

by philapilus

“Fortunately fences are impossible to break, or indeed to scale” said Brokenshire

The UK government has announced it will send the National Barrier Asset to Calais, to help desperate authorities there cope with the scale of migrants trying to enter Britain illegally.

The National Barrier Asset was developed in the aftermath of terrorist attacks and has been described with glowing reverence by the Ministry of Defence as ‘a really quite long bit of fence’.

Immigration minister, James Brokenshire, said “A shorter bit of the long bit of fence will be sent to France and deployed at their end of the Eurotunnel, to show just

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June 24, 2015

Britain’s Got Talent screened to migrants at Calais as deterrent

by philapilus

Guaranteed to cut immigration down to the low levels Britain enjoyed when Beadle’s About was on the telly

The government has announced mass screenings of Britain’s Got Talent in Calais, as an ’emergency deterrent’ to the migrants trying to force their way on to vehicles bound for Britain.

As strikes brought traffic on the French side of the tunnel to a standstill, hundreds of migrants massed and tried to board stationary lorries and even force their way into family cars.

Immigration minister James Brokenshire said “These poor fools don’t realise that whilst Britain’s welfare system is relatively attractive, these isles are a cultural wasteland of despair. Exposure to Britain’s Got Talent is an excellent way of

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