January 18, 2018
by philapilus

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden” was the headline the Mail ran with
The Daily Mail has expressed its support for the UK’s decision to accept more migrants from Calais and give the city £44m to beef up border controls.
In a comment-piece this morning, usually cantankerous thought-spewer Richard Littlejohn said “This seems eminently fair. Why shouldn’t we help those wanting to benefit from being a part of our country, when they
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Posted in Immigration, Politics, Satire, Society |
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September 7, 2016
by philapilus

Is there anything walls can’t do?!
Everybody said this morning that walls are just brilliant, and offer by far the best solution to any problem.
The consensus was reached after the UK announced it would be building a wall to keep migrants away from the main road to the port of Calais to protect haulage lorries from aggressive boarders.
Geoff Shovel, Chief Engineer of the Calais Wall said “Walls are the clear choice for
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Posted in Satire, Society, UK |
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June 30, 2015
by philapilus

“Fortunately fences are impossible to break, or indeed to scale” said Brokenshire
The UK government has announced it will send the National Barrier Asset to Calais, to help desperate authorities there cope with the scale of migrants trying to enter Britain illegally.
The National Barrier Asset was developed in the aftermath of terrorist attacks and has been described with glowing reverence by the Ministry of Defence as ‘a really quite long bit of fence’.
Immigration minister, James Brokenshire, said “A shorter bit of the long bit of fence will be sent to France and deployed at their end of the Eurotunnel, to show just
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Posted in Europe, Immigration, International, Satire, Society, Transport, UK |
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June 24, 2015
by philapilus

Guaranteed to cut immigration down to the low levels Britain enjoyed when Beadle’s About was on the telly
The government has announced mass screenings of Britain’s Got Talent in Calais, as an ’emergency deterrent’ to the migrants trying to force their way on to vehicles bound for Britain.
As strikes brought traffic on the French side of the tunnel to a standstill, hundreds of migrants massed and tried to board stationary lorries and even force their way into family cars.
Immigration minister James Brokenshire said “These poor fools don’t realise that whilst Britain’s welfare system is relatively attractive, these isles are a cultural wasteland of despair. Exposure to Britain’s Got Talent is an excellent way of
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Posted in Culture, Entertainment, Europe, Immigration, Politics, Satire, Showbusiness, Society, Television, UK |
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