Posts tagged ‘bread’

July 12, 2017

Vatican: Glutenous bread “more fleshy”

by unpseudable
bread

An artist’s representation of Jesus

The Roman Catholic Church this week ruled that gluten-free bread can no longer be used in Mass.

In a letter to bishops, Cardinal Robert Sarah stated that gluten-free bread “just isn’t Jesusy enough, you know? The texture is all different – not like flesh at all, in my experience.”

Sarah (who is obviously a man – this is the Roman Catholic Church), went on to add, “I mean, what’s the point of a metaphor if people don’t stick to it rigidly?

“N-not that it’s a metaphor of course, oh no: Jesus was literally – literally, mind you – made of bread and wine.

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January 31, 2012

Six month old news about bread is “most read” article on BBC News website

by articulatedsheep

In what is understood to be news harbouring the breaking of the sixth seal, an article about bread nomenclature on the BBC News website – which relates to an incident that occurred more than six months ago – is perceived as the most important, relevant and interesting thing to British users of that website, who presumably number in their tens of millions.

The article received significantly more page views than news about a UN

That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I love your tiger feet

debate on the response to a vicious Government crackdown on rebel-controlled areas of Damascus, the death of dozens of people in central and eastern Europe as temperatures plunged below freezing, the sinking of a ship in Turkey with the suspected loss of ten lives and a weird story about a “self-steering bullet”.

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