Hunt ‘delighted’ nurses leaving NHS as social care numbers will increase

by philapilus

‘Hunt’ has now replaced the c-word as a term of abuse, and ‘you total Hunt’ is second only in its offensiveness to calling someone a ‘massive Gove’

Jeremy Hunt has said that he is “absolutely thrilled” that nurses are leaving the NHS in record numbers, as it means “that more and more unemployed, depressed ex-nurses will have to rely on social care.”

Hunt’s new brief, after Theresa May’s cabinet reshuffle, was expanded to include Social Care, and it is understood from sources in government that “Mr Hunt had grown bored of destroying the NHS and wanted something else to play with.”

“Jeremy was so depressed towards the end of last year,” said a close friend of the minister, “he kept spinning slowly in his chair and sighing ‘if there’s no fun in making doctors cry anymore, what’s the point in living?’

“But then he got given this new role in addition to his old one, and now he can not only destroy nurses and other health professionals physically and mentally, he can also fuck them over when they require the help of social services to recover.”

Jeremy Hunt meanwhile has denied reports that he masturbates every time someone tells him another nurse has quit the service, and further insisted that he has ‘no current plans’ to be on the board of numerous lucrative private healthcare providers after leaving politics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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